Parenting People Who are Deconstructing Their Faith

a mothers love for her adult kids deconstructing faith parents of adult children Dec 23, 2021

I've been waxing eloquent on the subject of parenting people who are deconstructing their faith on my podcasts in a 3-part series you can find here on The Prayer Clinic Podcast. Look for episodes in December 2021. Take time to listen to these--you will be enlightened, encouraged and empowered! 

You'll also be looking for more resources to help you navigate the white water rapids you find yourself in today.

I never liked white water rafting. The first time I went I was in a raft with 2 college girls and another 7th grader. There was no guide! He was in the raft that was leading the pack of us eager beaver teenagers who were thrill seeking that day on the Ocoee River. 

We hit a rock, the college girls went overboard--did I mention my fellow 7th grade friend was from Cuba? She started speaking spanish like nobody's business and together we pulled the girls back in the boat. The rest of the way down that river we prayed and somehow made it out alive. One of our college aged girls had a dislocated shoulder and the other a broken knee cap. 

I was traumatized to say the least.


I hate it because people get hurt and I don't have a clue how to stop that from happening. As the parent of people who are deconstructing their faith I feel like someone threw me back in that raft and tossed me into endless white water rapids.

People are getting hurt and sometimes it's me.

What the heck?! What did I do wrong? Why me? Look at them! How on earth did this happen? 

If you have walked away from a conversation with your precious bundle of grown up joy and asked these questions to the shadows in your bedroom--you are not alone.

There are lots of us in these rafts. We're steering our way, the best we can, through the rapids of our kids' rejection of the Bible, disregard of the 10 commandments and their new definitions of life and love and faith and truth.

We are parenting people who are deconstructing their faith. And we're not having fun.

But, I'm here to share with you that God is still on His throne, and He will redeem this. The LORD GOD ALMIGHTY will take the very thing the enemy wants to use to destroy you and He will transform it all into good.

Just wait you will see.

And in the meantime take advantage of this season to grow so that you can exercise the power and dominion that belongs to you in the world today.

Here are some resources that I've mentioned in the podcasts because they will help you! 

Spiritual Warfare for your Family by me! You want this book!! 

Praying for the Lost is an online course featuring Jennifer Kennedy Dean who is brilliant on this subject! Grab a prayer partner and do this together.

Ted Dekker's book The Forgotten Way and the companion fiction books The 49th Mystic and Rise of the Mystics --these books will take you on a journey to trust God more and to rearrange your way of thinking. They will challenge you! (If any of these links don't work, check out anywhere books are sold.) 

Scripture that will anchor you to TRUTH! 

Philippians 1:6, "I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (CSB)

Romans 8:28, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose." (NIV)

John 3:17, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."

Scripture that I have on post-it notes in my kitchen: 

Jeremiah 31:16-17b "This is what the Lord says, 'Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,' declares the Lord. 'They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future.' declares the Lord. 'Your children will return to their own land.'" NLT

Daniel 10:12, "Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God your words were heard, and I have come in response to them." NLT

And this one is my favorite! 

"My eyes will watch over them for their good, and I will bring them back to this land. I will build them up and not tear them down, I will plant them and not uproot them. I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people and I will be their God, for they will return to me with their whole heart." Jeremiah 24:6-7 NLT

Just because your kids are losing their heads doesn't mean that you have to as well. :) Cling to the truth that you know, dig deep, press in, watch and wait and grow in your own journey toward oneness with God through Jesus Christ. 

P.S. --Hey kids, I didn't mean any offense. We know you're not losing your heads--it just feel that way to us. We applaud you as you seek out the answers yourself. :) 








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